Journey to finding self, part 3

People always think to themselves that the need to find oneself is utterly 'castrating'. What is the significant of finding oneself spiritually when it might not bring materialistic values into a person's life?

The thought that I am writing this down wide and open for everyone to read about me finding myself, and the journey of it might seem ridiculous at first, but I do believe that the part I am taking right now, this journey that I am in, I am not the only person here that is taking this step.

So this is my share to the world that are finding themselves and what it is meant for them in their life.

Recently, I told a good friend of mine, about how I was spiritually safe in my career. Though it was just an internship in a really big news company, it was still highly important that I do not screw my chances of getting employed there. But maybe that place wasn't right for me.

The story that I told him was this:

I was attached with a news publishing company, as a photojournalist. My assignment, one day, was to cover an event held in a primary Tamil school down in KL. My trouble was, I could not find this Tamil school. 

Round and around I drove, past 30 minutes and yet no sign of the school. I pull over few times to ask the people around, especially the Indians around the area, and guess what; most of them have not heard of such school. My reporter on the other hand, was un-contactable, and I couldn't get through to my supervisor back in the office. 

Nearly an hour past, and I had given up all hope. I pull over. Killed my engines. With no where to go, nothing could be done to solve my problem, and I could not go back without any materials. 

What kind of an employee would I be if I cant even pull this off, right?

So, as normal outcome of collaging emotions, I had a wet breakdown. I remember tears keep rolling down from my eyes. I remember talking out loud... to God. Only problem about me is that I do not have any religious practice. Never had any practice of how to pray, good and proper. 

But I remember, talking out loud to God, half making sure that It wasn't any god from any idols, making sure that I was talking to the one and only God, the God of all men and creation.  

Though I cant really disclose what I had said to God, but after my breakdown, I heard a voice asking me to make a drive around, and that I have to turn a right at the traffic light. Well, that was just what I did, make a round and turn right at the traffic light. Looking ahead as though a new road had just open up to me, and there it was, the Tamil school that I was looking for the past one hour, looking gracefully down at me with a huge smile on its face, if ever a school has a face paste on it.  

I park my car and rush into the school compound, looking for the PR of the event. The VIP of this event was one of the big guy in the politics. And with me being extremely late to cover such event, I thought all hopes was lost. 

I finally found the PR, she told me that I was lucky, coming later than the time stated. It seems that the VIP was also late, stuck in the traffic in KL. 

The next day, my pictures was used in the front page of the second section of the newspaper.

Well, if that wasn't God's love, I dont know what it would be.

After relating this story to my friend, he suggest that one day I should testify to this to other family and friends, if ever I am ready to face my fear of being on the stage.

But deep down, I know I wasnt being forsaken. Despite me being away from religions and what I had done in the past that might had pull me away from God. This thus show that, for everything that I had done, I was shown mercy, and kindness, and love, and that God is always with us, no matter in what situation, as long as we know what we did wrong and repent from them.