Space for friends

Losing someone is hard. Losing a close friend, it just breaks your heart. But to lose your close friend in our arms, there is just no words that could describe the mixture of feelings, that everything just rushes in in moments of a millisecond.

What's Love?

Love... ever so soft, so tender, kindness and full of wonders and miracles. It is freely given, yet often, it is taken for granted. The love that we give to others, the kindness from our heart that represents so much more than words could ever explain. Though kindness and love is great, they are often being treated back with wickedness. Black and darkness from the bottomless pit of any human soul could bare. 

Journey to finding myself, pt 5: Misdirected

Considering myself, I am still a young baby lost in the world of religion. Only but a few months old of reading the bible, going to BFS classes and attending church, I find myself with a question but no answer.

My question was, and still is: "If a person born Chrisitian, does not follow the way of Christ, then what is the point of a new born being introduce to Christ by that very same person?" I mean, isn't that person support to act as a mentor, as a motivator? And not be going about teaching all that is wrong, and yet able to be so blind and so hypocritical about things.

Sorry, the purpose of this blog is not about that person, but about you readers out there to know what is going on in my head, in my life, and around the world. Because for sure, I am not the only one going through all these.

Somehow, but no impossible, I find myself moving not in a different direction, but rather backing away from religion. Isn't learning from Buddha about being a kind hearted, loving human being better than people back talking each other? It really make me sick to see that God fearing people don't even respect and love one another. They say they are not perfect, well, no one ask you to be perfect, so long as you try to improve yourself.

I know one thing is for sure, no one can control my life except me. I know God is there, will always be around us. He gave us his teachings, and gave as many path to choose from. But the message in every religious book says the same thing, we are the one the choose which path we want to walk on. Given people a chance to control the way I choose things for myself, it's wrong. Now it is time for me to take control from everyone, and start deciding which road I want to drive on. On road that would lead me closer to where God have in mind for me.

Which ever road that may be, one thing is for sure, there is something that I have to do before I can finally enjoy my resting days.

Journey to finding myself, pt 4: Purpose

Most of the time I wish i am in the fantasy world. I dont know what am I doing in this complex reality, what is my purpose being here? Even as a journalist, what is my purpose? To write? to inform? to investigate? To tell the truth? But for who? and How? If I were to write on something that I care most, and readers doesnt care much, then what is next? and if I were to write what reader wants to read, and its not my passion of topic, than what am I?

Journey to finding self, part 3

People always think to themselves that the need to find oneself is utterly 'castrating'. What is the significant of finding oneself spiritually when it might not bring materialistic values into a person's life?

The thought that I am writing this down wide and open for everyone to read about me finding myself, and the journey of it might seem ridiculous at first, but I do believe that the part I am taking right now, this journey that I am in, I am not the only person here that is taking this step.

So this is my share to the world that are finding themselves and what it is meant for them in their life.

Recently, I told a good friend of mine, about how I was spiritually safe in my career. Though it was just an internship in a really big news company, it was still highly important that I do not screw my chances of getting employed there. But maybe that place wasn't right for me.

The story that I told him was this:

I was attached with a news publishing company, as a photojournalist. My assignment, one day, was to cover an event held in a primary Tamil school down in KL. My trouble was, I could not find this Tamil school. 

Journey to finding self, part 2

I guess my adventure to self finding has just begun, as to what I have been told, everything will start this year and there would be not a single moment for break. I wonder if I might have it in me or not to see it to the end of my destination.

Sometimes, reading signs and their meanings can be tricky... Everywhere I turn, there is that possibility of miss reading things, so many of the things might just be it!

Poem pic: Our land, Our home

Poem pic: Oh Shattered Soul

Telling me about ME!!

There are times I wonder to myself, about the companies I put myself into, the kind of people that I let myself to hang around with. My parents often 'warn' me about predators that seeks to take advantage of people like me, ever so willing to help those who ask for it, always ready to trust people without much 'knowing' them nor to ask about their true intention.

I grown up with books around me. Always hiding myself in between shelves of books in the public library, often for hours and hours on end. That was one of the fun time of my childhood that I can think of, always filling my head with stories from the fantasy land with talking animals and beautiful worlds with things that are childish in the real world. But I cant help it, especially when I only get a book once every year cause the prize for books were too much on my parent's list. It had to do, and now I quite a number of books that cant even fit in my book shelf.

Between fantasy and what is real;

I had and still am experiencing unexplainable things. Many people, especially those scientist often would say that there are always explanation to things, events and phenomenal happenings. But ever wonder if there are more than just science or religious beliefs that are going on in this world?

Recently, I met a new friend, at first it was because of my wanting to help this new acquaintance, which later indeed became someone of important in my life. I cant really tell what kind of importance this is, but I see it as someone that I would care for, like a family member.

But one thing caught my attention, compare to all the people I know in my life, that has been years and years, this new friend had only known me for about a month now, and yet is able to tell me about myself up front. Honestly, no one has ever done that. No one can ever do that anyway, cause they are too absorb with their own life.

The sad thing about this world is that every man is for himself. I don't know about you guys out there, but I haven't met a single soul that would put others before himself.

So much things to do, yet so little time!

Slowly disappearing to nothing-ness

I have a friend, who used to be my best friend. We met in college, studied the same degree, took the same ride home and together we graduated. For almost two years, and that is how my relationship with him ended, by wearing in those black graduation gown with a flat square board resting on my head as I walk across the stage in front of millions, to take my certificate in hand. 

That was the last of my status being ‘In-Relationship’.

Journey to finding self, part 1

The thought "What am I here for?" has always been in my mind like honey towards a wild bear. I don't know if it is the same for many out there, or perhaps I am just to drama queen, but I am sure there are probably one or two out there that might just think the same way as I am now.

Life, is it simply just because it is the way it is? Or that everything that we know, everything that we have had been through and experience things and live to tell about it another day just occur with no absolute reason? That things just happen because it happened so? Or are we all pre-destine to something larger?

I have always wonder to myself, what would I be like after 10 years, 15, 25 years gone by... What would I be doing by then? Would I be someone of importance or would I just be like every else who goes about their business and not caring about the world?

Would I be doing what I need to do or would I just be a normal wife to a normal husband and have a normal family like everyone else?

If everyone is living one and the same life that everyone else is living in, then what makes us different from each other? How would I say that "I am Kimberly Yeo Chui In, the one and only?" Are we all created to be the same and doing the same things day after day like everyone else? But what if, there is something more that we could do, something that we normally would not do, but because of the things that are changing around us, causes us to be better and to take action?

Question:
1. What if we were all born with a higher purpose, whether it is to meet someone, or to help someone in need that we are able to help them, or maybe, perhaps to change the world for the better?

2. Will we be able to learn what it is that we are suppose to do, or do with take a leap of faith? But faith in what?

3. How and where do we find these answers and how reliable are they?