Happy Ever After...

Life doesnt always go the way you plan them to go, and it deffinatly wont go if you dont have a plan. But in reality, no one really plan things the way that its going on with them at the moment. Things just happen you know, and sometimes, well most of the times there isnt and explanation as to why things are really happening the opposite way from what you want. Maybe, all of this things are predestine into our life by God. Maybe God knows what is best for us, and plan things for us wether we like it or not. But at the end, we still have to accept God's plan for us. Because God is after all the All-Knowing One.
Have you ever been in a situation where by you sometimes wonder if your with the right guy? That that guy isnt just another one of those wrong guys? Well...i have...Sometimes it makes me feel scared of having any relationship with guys. The things that always going on around inside their mind can never be understood. The fear that you have, thinking that your not a perfect girl enough that your boyfriend might just cheat you and sleep with another girl...then you start to imagine what he might possibly be doing with that other girl when he says his out and your all alone at home, he doesnt call you nor send you messages... What kind of horror this is for all the girls...on the movies you see husbands cheating their wife behind their back, always saying that they have to go out station but then they ends up at the front door of a sexier and younger looking women...And seeing that you started to imagine your life, you start asking yourself would your life be like that or will you be able to find someone even better, who loves you and you alone. And when you listen to love songs...arr...all those beautiful loves songs, it just makes you think about him and nothing but him, and you begin to feel a kind of sansation, burning in your heart, ohh...how much that makes you want him to be in your arms, but you realize that his just not there, and you begin to cry....how foolish of you, you have fallen soo deeply in love with him that later when you found out that his cheating on you, you would rather just forgive him and let him return to your life than to move on...and oh...how blind and lost you are, for not thinking that it would happen again...
Sometimes i wonder...what does God really want from me....is it to learn, have experients about the true world? learn to be strong and independent? that i dont really need a guy in my life to be strong? What??
Full of questions, questions that does not have answers...

Lost

Thanks my dearest friends for keeping on reminding me that guys always talk sweet to girls just to have what they want. Sometimes I feel as though I dont know anything. I keep asking myself if he really loves me or is he just trying to get what his aiming for. Sometimes i doubt that he has anything for me yet at the same times thinks that he really do loves me. So, I guess you could say that i was in a lost and confussing state of mind and i didnt know what to think at that time. But what's the point, things change, we separate... But here's the thing, he says he misses me, yet he doesnt call me nor sms me, and yet i'm the one who have always been calling him... Did he ever have anything for me?? Atleast anything that is true??

Taking the step ahead of me...

This time, even though I know that this was the only relationship that last short but quite intimate, I decided to move forward. Although I have been advicing most of my friends to just move on from a broken relationship, I know that it is not easy, I understand what they feel and going through at that time. And this time, I had to do the same, to move onwards when I know there is nothing there for me to say "Hey wait, just give me a few moments," there is no point of me doing that when i know nothing is going to change. He will never be mine...and i guess that is just the way it ment to be, that we are not ment for each other. So whats more to do then to just let it go and keep walking forwards? But leaving him behind and going back to my mother's home was quite tough. He was the one who wanted to send me to the bus station to see me off, and the whole time when i was with him that day i really wanted to cry, but i didnt. Deep down I keep on reminding myself that i had made a promise to him to be stronger. It wouldnt be fitting if i would have cry infront of him...

Lonely again...

Somehow, even though knowing that my friends and family are always there for me, beside me and whatever people always say to me when i cry...i feel lonely...though i am always available for those who needs me and always there for them when they need someone to talk to....somehow i just feel...the only thing that i am miss is...me... how i wish to have a clone...a clone of me... to have someone to talk to, to motivate me to the right path... it seems that im not getting motivate much often... how i wish that you could understand what is like to feel lost, and hoping that the dearest person to your life would motivate you and bring some light into your life...

All this time

Do you ever once in your life time imagine and hope that you are the hero of the world? To be brave and fight for the things that you hold dear to your life? To be a hero like all those games design to be in such a way like Final Fantasy, Ragnarok online, Kingdom Heart and such?

But believe this, even heroes needs to be motivate to do something that they want to do, but scare of facing the darkness. In our life, no matter how much it seems that we are facing things alone, we arent really alone. People always says that God is beside you so you dont have to fear anything. It is true that God is always there, but what is the point of putting all your faith onto God's hand when you dont even have a little tiny bit of faith in yourself?

Relationship is not something you just meet and have it immediately. Relationship takes time to grow and some understanding. Breaking up a relationship with your spouse doesnt mean that your should not still love them or care of them. More over it does not mean you cant see them and still be friends, or much more better, the best friend of your life. Relationship isnt something to be taken for granted, instead it should be cherish, well cared for.

Take your time, and think...Are you really taking care of your relationship well enough? Are you spending enough equal time with everyone? Are you not ignoring a certain someone that might need you to be by their side when they were at yours when you needed someone?

Think about it, what have you been doing all this time??

Kingdom heart