Note From Author

I have no assignment today. Just sitting in office with my laptop, looking at the previous blogs from the years before. I never knew I could manage to write something as that awful and to even put it up for everyone to read! What an embarrassment to the world of writing.

I notice who I still got pictures from my junior years in university, with friends that I no longer friends with. Should I take them down? Seeing those faces and brings the saddest memories back. But I guess I should just leave them there for others to see. Besides, thats the reason why I write blogs... To share with people.

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Location: Office

Mood: Bored

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Poverty in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

Poverty... What is poverty? Just another word in the dictionary with more useless words that meant nothing more to another human being whom set high up in the status quo. What is poverty? For someone who wakes up every morning, left the house with perfume tracing their steps, with a desk at the office, car at the basement and a family to go home to at the end of the day. It is no different from a man waking up every morning, walking to a clear spot on the street with footsteps to trace his every whereabouts, personal belongings beside him where ever he goes, and every where is his place for a home in the cold night.

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Never Notice Until You Back

Sometimes I wonder what is in the future ahead for me... What is in stored for me, and what would my life be like. All kinds of imagination about my future lingers in my head and how and what I have to do to reach to my dream. Even know, I still wonder if the things I did was the right one to even do it.

Now after 6 years that have passed by, I started cleaning up my room, only to find more things that triggers memories. Memories that I least want to remember. Most consist of people that I envy, people that had betray me people that dont really have anything good thing to do with my life. But somewhere buried deep beneath all of this bad memories, lies some of the good ones. Ones that I got close to such as my cousins, even though there were good times and bad times. Some whom are my friends that I could count on.

But the thing is, we see the importance of looking forward so much that we forgot to take the time to look at what we have gone through in our life to reach to where we are now. When I was cleaning my room, I realize that 6 years have passed since the time I taken a picture with my 3 other cousins together. Yet I remembered it as if it was only yesterday...

ScartyScarf signing off!

My new beginings

Saturday, 17th of December, was my happiest and saddest day of this year. Maybe it was the happiest and saddest day of my life to be feeling both ways for two different reason. Firstly, it was my graduation. Being graduated from the 4 years of my life in Limkokwing. Though some may say that the departure of graduates are always the saddest, but truthfully, it was my happiest day that I finally being able to get out of there. I sincerely would miss some of the lecturers there, some of whom are the greatest amongst all others, yet some of whom were not the lecturer of my subjects. But they were kind to me all the same. It was also the saddest day of this year, because during the entire event of the graduation, it was also the last time or the last day of my relationship with one great companion, who is a good person that does not see himself in the light. The thought of our agreement to end our little relationship at the last day of our being in university, resides in my head up till the very day of the graduation. I could do nothing but to only produce a smile on my face. Most of my friends know not of this agreement of ours. What a shock. But sometimes, actually most of the time, we need to face reality.

Even though I may say that it was the saddest day of all. But up till now, up till this very day, I havent shade a tear over the end of this companionship. Because, I know I still have him, as a close and dear friend, even if no longer my companion. But he is a very valuable friend. One that I trust above all others.

This is ScartyScarf, signing off.

Finally the day has come...

Though many people says that we humans would not be able to stop learning, until the day they die, rot and faith away, I just want to say... Sometimes, people can just get sick from learning too much. Especially when you have to learn from people who teach you absolutely nothing.

Busy Week

Hi guys, its been a long busy week that I couldn't even have a peak at my own favorite blogs. Anyway, I have been busy walking around KL, taking pictures, taking more footages of what is happening around us. I have a car of my own. But I more prefer to drive my car to somewhere, and walk 50 meters around it, taking pictures and videos as I go. Not only it is a good way to loose all the fats, but sometimes you just cant get anything from sitting in the car...

So back on the matter of my final year project, looks like it that I cant make it, because I don't have any actress that would play the part of the girlfriend. Now my plan has changed... I'm doing a documentary instead, about life...and death... Actually...now Im on the way of editing it... But tears keep falling down as I edit...just too sad...

Anyway, got to go do my work... Take care, and Happy Halloween.

This is ScartyScarf signing off...

P.S... If I am lucky enough, I might just bring you some pictures of Halloween in Malaysia (KL).

Life N Death

Sometimes I have the feeling that we are God's food. God made us from flour, bake us till we either becomes a pretty, lovely cake, or un ugly cake. But either way, God will eat what God made. Which comes to the saying that God will take away whatever that is given to us, especially your lives.

Unconsiderate housemates

Do you think that, as a housemate that you should be considerate about the right timing to be as noisy idiots? Yea you should! I mean come on... which in heaven grace does people come back in the early morning where the sun haven't even touch the horizon and you bringing your bunch of monkeys and made so much loud noise? Im not saying that they are monkeys...but they are being and inconsiderate ass holes... sorry for my rude language coz its bloody 4.45am now....

Some people need to sleep here!!

In A Relationship...

   You ever wonder why people believe that there is no the perfect person? I have always wonder why people had to think like that...Did they really had a bad ending to their relationship that they dont trust that there is a perfect person? 

   I live in a world of fairy tales, fantasy...imagination...not like those girls that normally think about how their prince charming would look like. But I have always imagine being in another world, soo beautiful that maybe, just maybe I could just share it with someone. Someone who share the same interest as me, someone who could imagine with me, someone who could be with me in the imaginary world.

   Time has passed by. I know its still kindda early to be in a new relationship after just breaking up with my previous one. But somehow I feel that...he is the one. But like all girls, I am scare... scare that it will end badly. Everyone says to me that he is the one, that he is the only one that I was meant to be. That I could not be more happier with someone else other than him. Now that we are officially girl-boy friend, I am the most happiest girl on earth. He is my perfect man. He is my other half. He is the one that i rather be with.

   But I am scare. I am scare of being played. I am scare of what might happen in the future.

Just Speak Up!!

Im tired of people with their attitute towards me. I mean, what did I do wrong to them? Have i ever tell their secrets to other people? Have i said anything to other people that is not true so that they think bad about them? No! I did not do all those damn childish things. Yet this people, this so called friends of mind, who already expose my secrets to other people, keep giving me those stares like as if i stole their money or something... Not once did i do anything to them. I didnt even steal their friends from them, yet they keep taking the only people i have to their side. If you have something to say, why dont you just freaking come to me and say it in my darn face, if you dare...oh how i dared you to do that. Dont just look at me like that, like a wusspuss staring at me with those idiotic childish eyes and expect me to talk to you. You are no one to me, i care less to what happen to you since you yourself dont even bother to listen advice from people around you! SO BE GONE you EVIL SPIRITS!!

Understanding Myself

     Sometimes i wondered what would things be like if i was never born. Just be a spirit that roams on the earth, passing through walking beings called human, without them noticing that i was there. Its not that i dont appreciate my parents bringing me onto this world, but sometimes its just a thought in my head, saying, "what if".

     Life is hard indeed. No one goes around and say "all you need to do is just eat and sleep". I know what life is. Some people say that life is when you are living on earth. That is correct, part of it, but there is more to life than any words can express.

          Everyone is afraid. Before we are born, we were afraid that we will fail in living.  When we begin to live, we start to think of how we would die. In our head we imagine what if we die like this, at this time, at this place. We start to think, that life is short and that we only have one chance in living. So, we start to do everything that we want to do. Because after we pass on, it will just be that...that we had once walk on the earth amongst the animals and mother nature.

             Sometimes i ask myself, why was i born? Did i came here to get something done? Funny thing is that when i was a kid, i really hated wars and battles, i hated seeing people fighting and argueing. At that time, i had really thought, that i came here to stop the wars. To make them see, to put some sense in people's head... but now i think again...who am i? who will ever listen to a little girl like me, who loves animals, who love the smell of the clean fresh air coming from the forest. A little girl who loves to play under the rain that was once pure rain before the air become polluted with toxin.

              Every day, there are wars. People against people, animal against their same species or for food, doctors fight to save lifes, soldiers fight to save their country, people fight for what they believe in. There really isnt any stopping...in wars... and this is life, you like it or not, you are here, given a chance to do what is right, what is best for you and the people you love.