The Going Gets Tough

It has been long since the last time I post an entry into my diary. Lately, there were lots of things up in my head. Some of which took hold the better judgement of me. Some, by far the most disappointing memoirs to be made for future lessons.

I admit that I have been away, from my fellow readers. From my college friends and close families. It seems that I have lost the touch of being able to communicate with people other than myself. Unsocialize, some would call me. But I do not deny... I have lost the sense of socializing. To my friends and families out there, I truly ask for your forgiveness and also your understanding.

Never Notice Until You Back

Sometimes I wonder what is in the future ahead for me... What is in stored for me, and what would my life be like. All kinds of imagination about my future lingers in my head and how and what I have to do to reach to my dream. Even know, I still wonder if the things I did was the right one to even do it.

Now after 6 years that have passed by, I started cleaning up my room, only to find more things that triggers memories. Memories that I least want to remember. Most consist of people that I envy, people that had betray me people that dont really have anything good thing to do with my life. But somewhere buried deep beneath all of this bad memories, lies some of the good ones. Ones that I got close to such as my cousins, even though there were good times and bad times. Some whom are my friends that I could count on.

But the thing is, we see the importance of looking forward so much that we forgot to take the time to look at what we have gone through in our life to reach to where we are now. When I was cleaning my room, I realize that 6 years have passed since the time I taken a picture with my 3 other cousins together. Yet I remembered it as if it was only yesterday...

ScartyScarf signing off!

My new beginings

Saturday, 17th of December, was my happiest and saddest day of this year. Maybe it was the happiest and saddest day of my life to be feeling both ways for two different reason. Firstly, it was my graduation. Being graduated from the 4 years of my life in Limkokwing. Though some may say that the departure of graduates are always the saddest, but truthfully, it was my happiest day that I finally being able to get out of there. I sincerely would miss some of the lecturers there, some of whom are the greatest amongst all others, yet some of whom were not the lecturer of my subjects. But they were kind to me all the same. It was also the saddest day of this year, because during the entire event of the graduation, it was also the last time or the last day of my relationship with one great companion, who is a good person that does not see himself in the light. The thought of our agreement to end our little relationship at the last day of our being in university, resides in my head up till the very day of the graduation. I could do nothing but to only produce a smile on my face. Most of my friends know not of this agreement of ours. What a shock. But sometimes, actually most of the time, we need to face reality.

Even though I may say that it was the saddest day of all. But up till now, up till this very day, I havent shade a tear over the end of this companionship. Because, I know I still have him, as a close and dear friend, even if no longer my companion. But he is a very valuable friend. One that I trust above all others.

This is ScartyScarf, signing off.

Extraordinary Life

Life is not something that someone can say it to be ordinary. To me, Life is something extraordinary, because you never really get to know when will your time be up, how and where. I guess that is why many people like to say this one quotation:

Live life to the fullest

Something Lacking for Film Students in LUCT

If you are thinking of taking film course in Limkokwing University of Creative Technology, I strongly advice, DON'T.

This are the things that you would not learn there:

1. How to write a documentary script.

2. How to do a proper mood board.

3. How to make DVD with playlist, scene selection...

4. How to make documentary of all the 6 modes

5. The right way of writing treatment.

6. How to write treatment for documentary.

7. How to draw blocking.

8. How to play with lights.

9. Special makeup

This is what is lacking in Limkokwing. 

Life N Death

Sometimes I have the feeling that we are God's food. God made us from flour, bake us till we either becomes a pretty, lovely cake, or un ugly cake. But either way, God will eat what God made. Which comes to the saying that God will take away whatever that is given to us, especially your lives.

Truth about God

Sometimes I wonder... Who is God? If God created to universe, then what created God? What is God made of and how do we know what is real and what is not? Maybe the things that we think that aren't real, would be the real things after all, and all those that we believe them to be real are just illusions? What if the Greek gods were real, or the Titans, or the Norse Gods? What is all of them were real and Ragnarok did really happen...maybe on earth? If not, then why would the archeologist came to the findings of giant skeletals all over the world? And where are they now??

What if, just what if...a question...that all religions was made up in order for us to just be farmers, doing our things, minding our own business with our eyes blind folded by religion? What if God, as we see now, is actually Aliens that once visited the ancient Mayans and the Egyptians??

But the biggest question of all. If knowledge in the early BC was not up to our knowledge of existence and technology, then how on earth did they build enormous maze like architecture? Surely there are some remaining piece of knowledge left uncovered...

Well, this is just my screwed up everyday thoughts.
The question of "what if".
Since in reality, war happens because of the differences in race, religions and country. Yet, we are all the same...Human, who so blindly do things without even to ask "what if". So blindly following the norms.

This is ScartyScarf signing off!

Final Cut Pro 7 vs. Final Cut Pro X (10)

The thing about working with a program is the suitability. How comfortable you are working with the program it self. Because, programs are made by programmers to suite many different people from all walks of life. So in a nutshell, it is you who have to adjust to the way things are in the program itself. Its like making yourself love the person that you most hate.

An Open Truth

Today, I walked the streets of economical heart of Malaysia. Trust me, it was an eye opener. After so many years staying in Malaysia, now I agree and straight forwardly speak out the truth. If you hate what you read here or dont believe me, then you yourself can go and see.

I walked for more than 5 hours in Kuala Lumpur today. To be exact, I walk in Bukit Bintang, which was said to be the heart of business, where travelers come to make deals, do business and hang out with friends and families. To tell you the truth, what I seen today was not business. It was not a place of fun at all.

Instead, it was filled with the smell of vomit, piss and even rotten food that lies on the floor. And with that much people walking on that streets, those food just hits on everyone's shoe. What rots! Futhemore, there were thousands of cigerrate butts laying on the floor, papers and plastic flying all over. It was not a clean sight, not to even mention about doing business there.

Yes, business there is good and money comes. But dont forget about being clean too...I mean...I really wanted to puke with all those smells....

Malaysia's beauty is a beauty, only if they know how to take care of it...

Anyway, this is ScartyScarf signing off.

The Voice...

Lately, I have been hearing voices... Its always that same girl's voice. First I heard it when I was sleeping. It just say one word...

Bill...

Then again yesterday when I was sleeping. As usual, I sometimes slept with my laptop on, but thats when I was too tired and too sleepy that I just fell on my bed. But yesterday, while I was asleep, I suddenly woke up for no recent, and just as I was about to went back to sleep, I hear that same girl's voice. Only this time it says...

Just off it...

And I got up and off it...

Me

Whats wrong to be happy?

I who have almost everything that i needed.
A father and a mother who love me as their child.
A boyfriend who only want to see a smile on my face
And not a flicker of tears from my eyes.

What could I possibly ask more?
What in this world could make me happy that i dont already have?

Who cares what they think
Who cares what they say

For I am myself
I know what happened
I know truth
I am truth

"To Love And Be Loved In Return"

  "To love and be loved in return", isn't this what all of us believed in till now? The hope of finding someone to love in and hopefully they love you back the same way.

     Love, is not as easy as one would imagine it to be. A young girl's imagination is to find a guy that would love her back and take care of her. With that guy being a Prince Charming none the less, married, have children, grow old and live happily ever after.