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Monday 24 December 2012

Slowly disappearing to nothing-ness


I have a friend, who used to be my best friend. We met in college, studied the same degree, took the same ride home and together we graduated. For almost two years, and that is how my relationship with him ended, by wearing in those black graduation gown with a flat square board resting on my head as I walk across the stage in front of millions, to take my certificate in hand. 
That was the last of my status being ‘In-Relationship’.
But I think, we had broken up way before that. We piss each other off many times that we could not stand each other, and slowly, we start to grown apart without the other person realizing. I have been there many times when he needed it. Now a year has pass since our graduation, I am finally disappearing as a whole, away from him. Now I do not contact him anymore as there are nothing to be said to each other. He is becoming the very person he wishes to be. If he is happy or part happy, I am happy for him that he still have fun in his life.
Every person for himself. This is what I have learn this past years, going to college and meeting new people and getting betray by the very same people you trust, then you start wondering if you had ever made the right friends, or that you made the right move in being with people who truly deserves you, even though that might mean you would not have any fun in life, but you would be safe.
Up till now, I have alway made the right move of people I can trust, people who I believe would not bring me harm. But now, I feel like I am disappearing from this world. Being alive, yet not heard, nor seen nor remember. This is nothing of a concern to me. Even now, but to thing that I have dissolve into nothingness of the person I had spent all my college life with is now moving on without me, it is nothing big, but at some point, it hurts. But if me being away from him in order for him to have a happier life, I would gladly move away.

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