Journey to finding self, part 2

I guess my adventure to self finding has just begun, as to what I have been told, everything will start this year and there would be not a single moment for break. I wonder if I might have it in me or not to see it to the end of my destination.

Sometimes, reading signs and their meanings can be tricky... Everywhere I turn, there is that possibility of miss reading things, so many of the things might just be it!

Few days ago, I was watching Cloud Atlas by Tom Tykwer which is based on a novel written by David Mitchell. A wonderful interrelated stories that connects the various characters from not just different places and having different background, but also that they were from a different time line. (It is a must watch film for those first time hearing it.)

A quote taken from the movie, "Our lives are not our own. We are bound to others, past and present, and by each crime and every kindness, we birth our future." 

From this we can already tell that the film not only talks about the possibility or reincarnation, but also about the theory on interconnectedness. But what about the possibility that this story could so be talking about being born for a greater purpose? That by every mistakes we make and every right decision we take, we landed somewhere where we are meant to be, to do something right.

The fear of disappointment sets in like a spear through my heart, afraid of not only disappointing myself and those that are helping me, I fear more in disappointing Father. What if I could not do what I had promise, what ever it is that I had promised before.

Though I had found a new family, one that I enjoy being with and looking forward to at the end of every week, I still feel that I could not speak out completely. I believe you can put it in a way that there are things not meant to be shared.

Today I ask myself this: How does one not think himself crazy when the whole world point him out as crazy?

My answer remains: Only he himself shall know, for what does it matter to the whole world of what he believes? It is only between him and God that knows the truth.

So I guess thus saying, that I would continue my search in open silence of my true self and the truth within.

Question:

1. Is there anyone out there that I can talk to without alienating me of what I believe?

2. Am I able to do what I am suppose to do when I dont even know what I am suppose to do?
3. What if I disappoint those that have been helping me?