Journey to finding myself, pt 5: Misdirected

Considering myself, I am still a young baby lost in the world of religion. Only but a few months old of reading the bible, going to BFS classes and attending church, I find myself with a question but no answer.

My question was, and still is: "If a person born Chrisitian, does not follow the way of Christ, then what is the point of a new born being introduce to Christ by that very same person?" I mean, isn't that person support to act as a mentor, as a motivator? And not be going about teaching all that is wrong, and yet able to be so blind and so hypocritical about things.

Sorry, the purpose of this blog is not about that person, but about you readers out there to know what is going on in my head, in my life, and around the world. Because for sure, I am not the only one going through all these.

Somehow, but no impossible, I find myself moving not in a different direction, but rather backing away from religion. Isn't learning from Buddha about being a kind hearted, loving human being better than people back talking each other? It really make me sick to see that God fearing people don't even respect and love one another. They say they are not perfect, well, no one ask you to be perfect, so long as you try to improve yourself.

I know one thing is for sure, no one can control my life except me. I know God is there, will always be around us. He gave us his teachings, and gave as many path to choose from. But the message in every religious book says the same thing, we are the one the choose which path we want to walk on. Given people a chance to control the way I choose things for myself, it's wrong. Now it is time for me to take control from everyone, and start deciding which road I want to drive on. On road that would lead me closer to where God have in mind for me.

Which ever road that may be, one thing is for sure, there is something that I have to do before I can finally enjoy my resting days.

A Past Encounter

In life, I have met with a lot of people, from many different places, from many different countries, from many different background. Every seems friendly and happy. Everyone got along together just find. But there is one problem of everyone being together . . . I find that the Malays in Malaysia doesn't always hang out with people from other part of the world. They just like to stick to their own kind like as if there was a glue between them. You cant even see them together with other races or other nationality. Im not being a racist or anything, but this is what I see everyday. Even though Malaysia's main goal is Unity, or the so called 1 Malaysia, but is this how 1Malaysia suppose to look like? Where is the meaning of 1Malaysia in the eyes of a foreigner if they see such an attitudes in the Malaysian itself? I really hope, WISH, that Malaysians could improve themselves and not just point fingers at other people.

But thats not what today's blog is about. Sometimes my mind could just slip and go else where. Anyway, talking about people, I myself once knew this person who use to be quiet in class, really nice person with that kind of size. But never could I imagine this person who one day play a terribly big fire between three men. I mean, isn't just one itself is too big? By fire, I mean love. . . oh well, it ain't my life, but its annoying to even know about it of someone I once know. . .