Never Notice Until You Back

Sometimes I wonder what is in the future ahead for me... What is in stored for me, and what would my life be like. All kinds of imagination about my future lingers in my head and how and what I have to do to reach to my dream. Even know, I still wonder if the things I did was the right one to even do it.

Now after 6 years that have passed by, I started cleaning up my room, only to find more things that triggers memories. Memories that I least want to remember. Most consist of people that I envy, people that had betray me people that dont really have anything good thing to do with my life. But somewhere buried deep beneath all of this bad memories, lies some of the good ones. Ones that I got close to such as my cousins, even though there were good times and bad times. Some whom are my friends that I could count on.

But the thing is, we see the importance of looking forward so much that we forgot to take the time to look at what we have gone through in our life to reach to where we are now. When I was cleaning my room, I realize that 6 years have passed since the time I taken a picture with my 3 other cousins together. Yet I remembered it as if it was only yesterday...

ScartyScarf signing off!

My new beginings

Saturday, 17th of December, was my happiest and saddest day of this year. Maybe it was the happiest and saddest day of my life to be feeling both ways for two different reason. Firstly, it was my graduation. Being graduated from the 4 years of my life in Limkokwing. Though some may say that the departure of graduates are always the saddest, but truthfully, it was my happiest day that I finally being able to get out of there. I sincerely would miss some of the lecturers there, some of whom are the greatest amongst all others, yet some of whom were not the lecturer of my subjects. But they were kind to me all the same. It was also the saddest day of this year, because during the entire event of the graduation, it was also the last time or the last day of my relationship with one great companion, who is a good person that does not see himself in the light. The thought of our agreement to end our little relationship at the last day of our being in university, resides in my head up till the very day of the graduation. I could do nothing but to only produce a smile on my face. Most of my friends know not of this agreement of ours. What a shock. But sometimes, actually most of the time, we need to face reality.

Even though I may say that it was the saddest day of all. But up till now, up till this very day, I havent shade a tear over the end of this companionship. Because, I know I still have him, as a close and dear friend, even if no longer my companion. But he is a very valuable friend. One that I trust above all others.

This is ScartyScarf, signing off.

Extraordinary Life

Life is not something that someone can say it to be ordinary. To me, Life is something extraordinary, because you never really get to know when will your time be up, how and where. I guess that is why many people like to say this one quotation:

Live life to the fullest

Something from Peter Greenaway on cinema's death

Peter Greenaway always says that cinema is not for telling stories. "Its a half-dead medium wasted by taking its cues from books. Telling bedtime stories for adults.

Finally the day has come...

Though many people says that we humans would not be able to stop learning, until the day they die, rot and faith away, I just want to say... Sometimes, people can just get sick from learning too much. Especially when you have to learn from people who teach you absolutely nothing.

Something Lacking for Film Students in LUCT

If you are thinking of taking film course in Limkokwing University of Creative Technology, I strongly advice, DON'T.

This are the things that you would not learn there:

1. How to write a documentary script.

2. How to do a proper mood board.

3. How to make DVD with playlist, scene selection...

4. How to make documentary of all the 6 modes

5. The right way of writing treatment.

6. How to write treatment for documentary.

7. How to draw blocking.

8. How to play with lights.

9. Special makeup

This is what is lacking in Limkokwing. 

Busy Week

Hi guys, its been a long busy week that I couldn't even have a peak at my own favorite blogs. Anyway, I have been busy walking around KL, taking pictures, taking more footages of what is happening around us. I have a car of my own. But I more prefer to drive my car to somewhere, and walk 50 meters around it, taking pictures and videos as I go. Not only it is a good way to loose all the fats, but sometimes you just cant get anything from sitting in the car...

So back on the matter of my final year project, looks like it that I cant make it, because I don't have any actress that would play the part of the girlfriend. Now my plan has changed... I'm doing a documentary instead, about life...and death... Actually...now Im on the way of editing it... But tears keep falling down as I edit...just too sad...

Anyway, got to go do my work... Take care, and Happy Halloween.

This is ScartyScarf signing off...

P.S... If I am lucky enough, I might just bring you some pictures of Halloween in Malaysia (KL).

Life N Death

Sometimes I have the feeling that we are God's food. God made us from flour, bake us till we either becomes a pretty, lovely cake, or un ugly cake. But either way, God will eat what God made. Which comes to the saying that God will take away whatever that is given to us, especially your lives.

Having a phone...

The thing about living in this new era is that all of the new generations are highly equip with technology. Now one can be seen without at least having a cellphone in their pocket. But that is the thing about cellphones, you can call people at a distance, and people can call you just to irritate you. But I dont know why, for me when I call someone on their cell and they dont pick up, I always came to imagine them laying somewhere on the road, dead!... Especially when its someone I care for...

Weird Boring Week

This week, totally sucks. Nothing much to do but work work work... Work I do that I dont even get paid for... yet Im doing all the paying for my work. Now, Im broke... not totally broke yet, but breaking... What should I do? Find a part time job? Currently that is what I have in mind. But what about my assignments?? Not to mention, I havent had fun in months! When was the last time I even went for a show?

I still have about a month or so to get everything finish. A month is a whole lot of time in hell but not enough time in heaven. Time is running out. But what should I do after graduation?? Thats a mystery...

Anyway, got to go find something to eat...

ScartyScarf signing off!

Being a Director First Time

Everybody faces problems everyday. From the adults who have health problems, down to babies who tries to tell their parents what they need in baby language. The thing is, no one can run away from problems. Its just that how you are going to face it when it arrives.

Truth about God

Sometimes I wonder... Who is God? If God created to universe, then what created God? What is God made of and how do we know what is real and what is not? Maybe the things that we think that aren't real, would be the real things after all, and all those that we believe them to be real are just illusions? What if the Greek gods were real, or the Titans, or the Norse Gods? What is all of them were real and Ragnarok did really happen...maybe on earth? If not, then why would the archeologist came to the findings of giant skeletals all over the world? And where are they now??

What if, just what if...a question...that all religions was made up in order for us to just be farmers, doing our things, minding our own business with our eyes blind folded by religion? What if God, as we see now, is actually Aliens that once visited the ancient Mayans and the Egyptians??

But the biggest question of all. If knowledge in the early BC was not up to our knowledge of existence and technology, then how on earth did they build enormous maze like architecture? Surely there are some remaining piece of knowledge left uncovered...

Well, this is just my screwed up everyday thoughts.
The question of "what if".
Since in reality, war happens because of the differences in race, religions and country. Yet, we are all the same...Human, who so blindly do things without even to ask "what if". So blindly following the norms.

This is ScartyScarf signing off!

A Tiring Day

Today is as normal as any day could be. Nothing much to do. Only I wish that I was back in the T-Bowl restaurant eating that poopoo coco ice cream. It was only around 6 ringgit. Something worth while on this tiring and boring day.

I personally dont even know why I got tired in the first place. Maybe it is the lack of sleep... but I sleep around 1:30 am yesterday... I should say today... this early early way early morning. Anyway, this is life. Life of a student. No matter if its sleeping late or early, still have to drive to uni the next day. Talking about drive, that reminds me... I nearly hit into the bud of another car... I think it was a proton...

Anyway, today I am heading the bed a little early. So goodnight all, have a good dream.
This is ScartScarf signing off!

Burning the midnight oil

Now it is already pass 1:30 am, its a thursday early mid night morning. I feel so tired, my muscles are aching. My eyes are heavy and my neck feels like its going to give way. Right now Im rewriting one of my script for my final year project. I have my previous version, but its not suitable for using it to shoot during the production time. So I am writing it back again, considering the way of shooting. Because the previous one, I did not write it as to how I should write it, that is the scriptwriters format, rather I wrote it with the vision of my final video, of how I one it to be. But I notice that is not the right way to write it. Because script is for helping to visualize the idea and concept of the director. Anyway, I dont think I can finish this my tonight, might have to continue tomorrow after class...

Good luck with assignments and projects,
This is ScartyScarf signing off!

Final Cut Pro 7 vs. Final Cut Pro X (10)

The thing about working with a program is the suitability. How comfortable you are working with the program it self. Because, programs are made by programmers to suite many different people from all walks of life. So in a nutshell, it is you who have to adjust to the way things are in the program itself. Its like making yourself love the person that you most hate.

An Open Truth

Today, I walked the streets of economical heart of Malaysia. Trust me, it was an eye opener. After so many years staying in Malaysia, now I agree and straight forwardly speak out the truth. If you hate what you read here or dont believe me, then you yourself can go and see.

I walked for more than 5 hours in Kuala Lumpur today. To be exact, I walk in Bukit Bintang, which was said to be the heart of business, where travelers come to make deals, do business and hang out with friends and families. To tell you the truth, what I seen today was not business. It was not a place of fun at all.

Instead, it was filled with the smell of vomit, piss and even rotten food that lies on the floor. And with that much people walking on that streets, those food just hits on everyone's shoe. What rots! Futhemore, there were thousands of cigerrate butts laying on the floor, papers and plastic flying all over. It was not a clean sight, not to even mention about doing business there.

Yes, business there is good and money comes. But dont forget about being clean too...I mean...I really wanted to puke with all those smells....

Malaysia's beauty is a beauty, only if they know how to take care of it...

Anyway, this is ScartyScarf signing off.

Time To Work

It has been a tired week. With the weather like this, its been raining like for two weeks in KL, lucky thing is that its on and off raining, or else I would not have any clothes left to wear. But there is always the Dobi that I can go to.

Anyway, now my latest project is editing for my dear friend. She is participating in a film competition. I do hope that we win. If not, well at least we did something. Her story is about a young boy who paints with his fingers. He doesnt have brush because his in a poor family. And later the father comes home and give him a broken brush. Somehow I feel like the tag line should be: Better to have it rather than nothing at all.

Tomorrow we will be shooting for a how-to video on making fake blood for production. We are thinking of shooting it in the way of a cooking show. The only problem is that there is only 3 person in the production including myself. Hope that it turns out well and fun.

Well thats all for this morning, hope you guys have a pleasant day ahead of you.
This is ScartyScarf signing off!

Getting Things Done For School...

I remember when I was back in primary school and even in secondary school, I would come home, eat, on the television and put all of my piles of homework on the table right in front of the television. I would sit there for hours and hours till my mom comes back and I would still be sitting there trying to get my homework done.

Now, I am in university in Selangor. And not to my or any of your surprise, I am still doing my work in front of the television, but guess what, the television remains off all the time! People say that its a habit. But I dont think that its a habit when you start with the television on and now your doing it again with the television off. Its not about habit of sitting in front of the television and doing assignments. It is about the comfortability that takes our mind away.

 It is now my last semester in this place. I cant wait to actually graduate and head out for work. But I will definitely miss some of my wonderful lecturer and friends. I am sure they will fill the same

Life Full of Zombies...

Just as you may think that zombies only comes out from their grave, some will just come out from your everyday life people. Only now I notice that my life is so full of zombies. Either they act like one, walking around with those heavy sag of eyes, walking sulkily like hunchback, or they just dont responds to what ever that you are trying to tell them... The only thing that comes to my mind in the term of zombies, is games... yea, I like playing zombie games... but I think I might just be a zombie myself...

Oh well... Nothing else to say, take care and have a great weekend.
ScartyScarf signing off!

Personal Away From Business

I have a problem with one of the person that I am force to work with. This person has done be wrong before. Which was a good thing, cause at least now I get to know who I can trust and who that I cant trust. But most of all, is that I am more aware and careful of who I said things to. Especially about things I dont want other people to know.

Some of my friends either make fun of me because she was a close friend to me and she was someone that I am always with. No I am not a lesbian. Even during those times I have a boyfriend of my own. To which was not the kind of boyfriend that I would be with in the long run. And some of my friends ask me, how I can manage to work with someone who I have problem with. My answer would always be that I have problem with her, but that is personal problems. But business is strictly business and that personal issues should not go into business. But sometimes I have to admit, if there is a personal issue, there would be a bigger issue to work with someone you have personal issues with because it gives a reason to go against each other.

But what the hell. I am only 21 years old, still young and its not wrong to experience everything in life and actually know things and be mature in life with no regret.

This is ScarletScarf signing off! Good night dear online readers.

The Voice...

Lately, I have been hearing voices... Its always that same girl's voice. First I heard it when I was sleeping. It just say one word...

Bill...

Then again yesterday when I was sleeping. As usual, I sometimes slept with my laptop on, but thats when I was too tired and too sleepy that I just fell on my bed. But yesterday, while I was asleep, I suddenly woke up for no recent, and just as I was about to went back to sleep, I hear that same girl's voice. Only this time it says...

Just off it...

And I got up and off it...

Wish-list For All

Have you ever walk into a shop, set you eyes upon a beauty that have attracted your eyes, you walk to it, pick it up, and there, that moment when you glance at the price of the beauty, it just stab a knife in your heart. Bu just went you were about to leave, the salesperson approach you, temp you to give it a try to see if you would like it or not. You would then think, trying is for free, it wont hurt, so why not. And there you go, you put your body into that beauty, it feels perfect. You feel whole and a new person with that beauty. You see yourself like you have never see yourself before. But then, you think back of the cost of that beauty. You just had to rip it off your body and return it to were it came from. But that beauty keep calling to you, asking you to take it home, but you know you cant, cause you do not have what it takes to bring it home... The money.

Well... That happens to me quite a lot. I have lived it up. But most definitely I will get the things I want when I start working. You see, currently I am a university student, about to graduate by the end of this year. Hopefully I could be able to find a job and earn some living for my self and my family. But as for now, I could just sketch that beauty on the piece of paper and paste it on the wall in front of me, putting it as one of my wish list items that I know will be in my possession.

This happend yesterday when I was in one of the Espirit outlet. A high-hilled shoe that cast around RM500/ RM499.99.

Thats all for now, ScartyScarf signing off to get some work done!

Once again... Sick

Almost everyone on earth does not want to get sick. They do not want to suffer the pain and going to doctors and eating medicine. 

The thing is, i believe that getting sick once in a well is good, cause the body gets a chance to upgrade the immune system and fight the latest illness. It gives a change to the immune system to win. Sometimes I think that it is good to have someone to take care of you when your sick. For me it makes me feel that I am not alone, that there is someone who is helping me fighting to get better soon.

Now that I am living in Kuala Lumpur, things are getting worse here. There is the traffics and also the haze that blinds people from seeing. Haze that is always there during the day, but when the sky turns night, its a clear night sky with a more fresher air. Some how I feel like one day, we will all be the night people, who sleeps during the day and works during the night.

What has happen to the mother earth that we have to face this situation where the atmosphere is fully covered with hazed. It was not like this two weeks ago.

A hotel kindda home

Sometimes I get the feeling that I am staying in a hotel. Although I am just in an ordinary house of my parents, and no where does it have to look of a hotel. But relatives that is not my immediate family keep coming in and going out. What makes it more worst is that they have their own keys to the house. Which now makes me feel like I am staying in their house and not mine. Cause I dont even have my own keys... Wait... I think I do... just need to find it. But thats not the point. The point is... I am suppose to be alone in the house, yet there are extras here... anyone needs an extras for their movies?

The old new comer

Hi there to all those who knows me and dont. Firstly, I want to wish you all a very Happy Raya in this lovely year 2011 and Happy Merdeka to those of Malaysian.

Though this is a new blog that I have opened today, but this is not my first blog. In fact I have many other blogs, to which all of them have a different properties, a different purpose of me opening them.

Turning Back No More

I thought relationship is all about...well... relationship! The most simplest as going out with my guy, enjoying the time we spent togather, watching a movie, going for a concert, sharing each other's food and stuff. Well, thats what any other relationships are.

Love Loneliness, Hate Living Alone!

You know sometimes people would just say out that they love the peace and quiet and would really much love to stay alone? Well...not everyone are like that. There are people, like me for instance who love the peace and quiet world...but truly hate living alone. Though I love quiet, but its really great to have people living with you, people that you know are truly there that you can talk with and laugh... but here I am, staying with my uncle and my aunty, but its quiet lonely here, no one to talk to that shares the same joyment as I do... I really miss those old times...haiz...

The past forgotten

Though times have past, people have come and left. Time have never wanted to spot, not for me, not for them, mostly never for anyone.
People always say, that when there is something happy, something that is worth remembering. But why do i always forgot about my past? Was it because it was all just a little small event? Or was there something in it that i do not want to remember?
People also said "forgive and forget". Sometimes when i want to forgive another person, it suddenly seems like it became so useless to forgive them. It is as though they make it too easy for me to hate them.

A Past Encounter

In life, I have met with a lot of people, from many different places, from many different countries, from many different background. Every seems friendly and happy. Everyone got along together just find. But there is one problem of everyone being together . . . I find that the Malays in Malaysia doesn't always hang out with people from other part of the world. They just like to stick to their own kind like as if there was a glue between them. You cant even see them together with other races or other nationality. Im not being a racist or anything, but this is what I see everyday. Even though Malaysia's main goal is Unity, or the so called 1 Malaysia, but is this how 1Malaysia suppose to look like? Where is the meaning of 1Malaysia in the eyes of a foreigner if they see such an attitudes in the Malaysian itself? I really hope, WISH, that Malaysians could improve themselves and not just point fingers at other people.

But thats not what today's blog is about. Sometimes my mind could just slip and go else where. Anyway, talking about people, I myself once knew this person who use to be quiet in class, really nice person with that kind of size. But never could I imagine this person who one day play a terribly big fire between three men. I mean, isn't just one itself is too big? By fire, I mean love. . . oh well, it ain't my life, but its annoying to even know about it of someone I once know. . .

It is never too late

I am 20 years old now, going to be 21 after 4 months. It seems that I have always celebrate, or more like having my birthday be celebrated by others during the day. Bur strangely enough, it was never during the night. Normally as I know, who doesn't celebrate their birthdays at night? Only me I guess...